miércoles, 15 de diciembre de 2010

The rain in Spain

How can i explain you this? I’m from Spain, actually, from a little town called Puerto Lumbreras in Murcia. I was living there till i decided to be an actor (by the way, actor/dancer/singer and whatever i could get money on a stage). It’s almost impossible to live being an actor in Puerto Lumbreras (no, no Port Umbrellas, i said Puerto Lumbreras), so i had to move to Madrid after i finished my career in Murcia. At last, Madrid wasn’t enough for me (i don’t mean  i’m a very ambicious man, it’s just i couldn’t get a good job there) and i discovered the truth of the actors:you’ll never end your studies, there’s always something more they need that you don’t have in your fucking cv!!!
- You’re a very dramatic guy, have you got a joke?
- This is so funny, but can you sing for us?
- Beautiful song, can you do it while you dance?
- Have you ever tried to throw flames from your mouth? what about from your bottom?
I learnt in every single way they asked for. I fought with all my skills, habilities, my brain and my soul to be the professional guy they needed. They had the best dramas, jokes, songs, dancings and flames from my fucking ass!! And, What do you think it was the answer?
- Perfect, could you do all of this in english?
And, of course, i couldn’t, just because in Puerto Lumbreras you don’t have many ocassions for practicing languages (you can practice tongues, but that is a story for another moment). So, like we use to say in spain, i took the bull by the horns and i came to London to learn english in the best way. It was hard, i went to academy every day while i tried to survive earning money without any idea of speaking, but i did it. I learnt english, i can sing, dance and spit out in english, i achieved it!!
And now…
Now you are telling me that i cannot work in your fucking Starbucks because i can’t say “cafe latte” without an authentic italian accent…
Fuck you, italian mother fucker!!

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